


Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures

by Domighters, exouniversity



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, EXOUNI16, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-08-19 19:35:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8222422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Domighters/pseuds/Domighters, https://archiveofourown.org/users/exouniversity/pseuds/exouniversity
Summary: Baekhyun goes to a college party, but his ex is there too. Since he’s had a little too much to drink, he grabs the first person he sees and asks them to make out with him.





	

Prompt #:19  
Title: Desperate times call for desperate measures  
Pairing: Baekhyun/Kai  
Summary:  
Baekhyun goes to a college party, but his ex is there too. Since he’s had a little too much to drink, he grabs the first person he sees and asks them to make out with him.  
Word Count: 18 586  
Warnings: medical inaccuracies , alcohol, (mention of abuse but not really?) , un bettaed  
Author Note(s):  
Dear prompter, your prompt was really inspiring but I kind of lost myself on the way (blame it on current korean drama). I really hope this will please everyone though this is my very first story, first fest, first everything.  
And also, thank you for the work the mods has been doing and for their kindness! 

He knew he shouldn’t have listened to his stupid friends suggestion but the future semester was coming and Baekhyun needed to release himself a little. He hadn’t made one step in the house that Luhan had already evaporated, along with Chanyeol (which is kind of difficult with his height). Such supportive friend he had, Baekhyun shook his head.  
Well, while being here, he could still enjoy himself, right? After some vodka drink and a few shots (he lost count after the fourth one), Baekhyun made his way on the “dance floor”. He was finally having his time when he slipped on the wet floor (thanks to an idiot who wasn’t able to coordinate his movement anymore to hold his glass without splitting it). He was about to give the guy a piece of his mind when he recognized the familiar height and eyes. _Shit_.  
On all his glory stood his ex boyfriend freshly dumped the last summer holidays.  
The guy widened his eyes before speaking,  
“Baek!” he was pointing at him with his finger (or at least tried to being this coordinate).  
“Wow, it’s been months since the last time I saw you!” He made a step forward, not without risking his balance “Did you move out from Moscow to come back here already?”  
Moscow? Ah yeah, Moscow, another one of Luhan bright (as in stupid) idea, to tell him he wasn’t staying in Seoul and was leaving studying in Moscow, the guy wouldn’t have it otherwise. How he hated himself for listening to his best friend and his frantic idea, of course they were bound to meet again in the city, but he was short of idea to make the guy understand that they should break up. The shot deciding to make effect at this time, Baekhyun just mumbled an eloquent “huuuuh” before taking his leave in the kitchen. The ex was following him but at a lower speed, thanks to the more shot he probably had. Desperate for an escape and an actual explanation, Baekhyun grabbed the arm of the first person in the kitchen, before saying, “Make out with me”. Desperate time called for desperate measures, okay? The dude looked to the right then to the left before pointing at himself, his eyes asking if he was speaking at him, and Baekhyun nodded continuously, in a very much desperate way.  
The guy looked at him for a second before shrugging, saying “Okay” and leaning in. The stranger was about to touch his lips when his ex interrupted them, no surprise there.  
“Baekbee?” Baekhyun internally groaned (or did he did it for real? The stranger was looking at him with amused eyes). Baekhyun turned his head feigning a surprise expression himself.  
“Tao? Fancy seeing you there”  
“But… we just saw each other on the dance floor” Tao replied with confusion on his eyes.  
Baekhyun blinked a few time before laughing, a very fake one “How much did you drink Tao?” He asked with an amused tone “I can’t leave a second my _baby boo_ , he wouldn’t survive” he continued while cooing and pinching the stranger cheek (god, why did he drunk so much). The stranger blinked at his turn, trying to process what just happened and enveloped his shoulder while laughing (Baekhyun must acknowledge, the stranger’s laugh seemed less fake than his).  
“What are you saying _honey sweet cookie bee_ , it’s you who can’t get enough of my presence” he said while squeezing his shoulder and showing a not so subtle smirk, the f*cker.  
Tao eyes soon began to water “I thought you were at Moscow,” he said.  
Okay, Tao was the kind of guy being very clingy, and it seemed that he didn’t have a closure about their relationship. You thought the guy would finally understand the situation, but he didn’t (blame alcohol if you want).  
“You should have told me, we could have catch up” Tao continued.  
Baekhyun sure felt like shit, the guy was just a puppy, but after wanting to experience the boyfriend thing and seeing it wouldn’t work, he tried to break up with Tao a lot of time, the guy just wouldn’t let him. And even if Tao was here with hopeful eyes, he sure as hell didn’t want to come back with him. He had to found something to explain, pronto.  
“Sorry Tao” he began, “I was about to grab my plane, when I met … _my baby boo_ who couldn’t bear to let me leave calling me his soulmate and begging me to stay. I couldn’t say no it was love at first side.. haha… right _baby boo_?” Honestly, he was far too drunk for this (even if seeing his ex kind of sobered him, alcohol still wasn’t on his side for being able to elaborate a plausible excuse, and when he was in pressure, Baekhyun tend to talk, _a lot_ ). Baby boo was looking at him with the famous are-you-kidding-me gaze.  
“You’re right _cupcake bee_ ” he answered (and would he stop with the bee thing?) “Tao right? I’m Kai, Baekbee’s boyfriend” he said while showing his hand. Tao finally seemed to sober up.  
“Oh.. I’m Tao, Baekbee’s ex?” He answered while taking the hand. And would they stop calling him by that awful surname?  
Kai smirked “You don’t seem sure about it. Baekbee, sweetie, are you cheating on me?” He asked with his annoying smirk still on place.  
Baekhyun plastered a smile of his before saying “Of course not baby boo” Baekhyun pinched his cheek, _hard,_ “sorry Tao it kind of happened and-“  
“No, no that’s alright, it was month ago, I should have get over myself” Tao cut him. “Still we should catch up someday right?”  
Baekhyun replied with a dumbfounded “yeah” before Tao took his leave.  
“That’s it?” he voiced loud “I mean, he won’t fight for it? Nothing? Where’s the love there?” Baekhyun was making a speech about coward asshole that gave up too easily until he was interrupted by a chuckle.  
He turned his head with a glare to the stranger “ _Honey sweet cookie bee_?” He hissed.  
Said Kai just shrug “You called me _Baby Boo_ ” Fair enough (not that he would say it aloud).  
“So, _Baekbee_ , does making out still in order?”  
“ _No_ ” Baekhyun said outraged.  
“You seemed fine, minutes ago”  
“I change my mind”  
“Okay” was all Kai said.  
Having enough of the party with friend who let you on your own and ex, Baekhyun made his way to the front door. However he stopped midway when he noticed a presence beside him.  
“What are you doing?”  
“Fulfilling my boyfriend obligation”  
Baekhyun sighed “Listen, it was really kind of you to play along, but I think he kind of get the hint now, you can go back to whatever you were doing”  
“Well, if you're talking about the guy who still look at you with puppy eyes, then I don’t think he really get the hint. So can I buy you a drink?”  
“They’re free” Baekhyun deadpanned.  
“True” Kai said “Still, I think you could take a drink, you know, enjoy the rest of the night”  
Baekhyun thought about it, and maybe it was the alcohol, but Kai was kind of attractive, now that he looked at him, so, _why not_?

***

They installed themselves in the kitchen, making little conversation while drinking (actually, only Baekhyun was drinking, but he never noticed it). Kai asked him if he wanted to make out from time to time, claiming “Baekbee’s debt”, and Baekhyun would dismiss the comment with a gest of his hand.  
“Your hand are really made for the piano” Kai said once, and even if Baekhyun hadn’t said a word about being a pianist, he only hummed, far to hazy from the content he had drunk. Tao gave them some glances from time to time  
“You were right” had said Baekhyun the first time “He’s looking at us, smile”  
When Kai would smirk Baekhyun would continue “ I said _smile_ , not smirk”  
“Smirking at him is more credible, it means I won over him” Baekhyun just rolled his eyes.  
They get to dance too, crossing way with Tao two times, but the latter didn’t try to talk to them again (maybe it has to do with Kai arm around his waist). The rest of the night is kind of fuzzy for Baekhyun, he know he laughed a lot with Kai, moving to the rhythm of the music and at some point Chanyeol found them. Kai introduced himself, as Baekbee’s boyfriend and Chanyeol grew berserk after that, screaming ‘Baekbee has a boyfriend’ at who wanted to hear it, tumbling on the ground more than once. Baekhyun tried to stop him, with Kai on his heels, grabbing him from time to time to haul him back up when needed. The pursuit ended when Chanyeol ascended a table, made a fool of himself and fell on Baekhyun. Baekhyun met the ground, nearly knocking out with a long limb idiot on him. His mind moved in between consciousness and unconsciousness. From this point on, Baekhyun can’t recall if he was dreaming or not. He thinks he heard Tao asking a question and a lower voice answering. He recalls two strong arms lifting him up, carrying him bridal style (and he really hope this was just a dream). He recall being led on a bed, a little hint of fragrance hitting his sense when the silhouette placed a kiss on his forehead, with a “sweet dream _Baekhyun_ ” being whispering at him, then everything turn black. 

***

Baekhyun made his way in the building, ready to commit a double murder. He had all his Sunday to plan it. Last Sunday morning, Baekhyun woke up in a bed he never had the memory of coming in and a wonderful black eye (courtesy of his soon-to-be-ex friend: Park Chanyeol). He had planned to go from a long and painful torture, first beginning with his friend (or soon-to-be-ex) feeling as in ruining his chance with his crush.  
Finally founding him and Kim Jongdae (said crush), Baekhyun made his way.  
“Hey Dae!” he said with a cheerful voice before narrowing his eyes at the one next to him “Chanyeol”.  
While the tall figure sensed his end was coming, Kim Jongdae grabbed Baekhyun’s face “What happened to your face?” He asked. And that was when Baekhyun internally smirked while his friend (soon-to-be-ex precisely) shuddered, having a very bad feeling.  
“Well, you see, Jongdae, _someone_ was too horny Saturday night and tried to assault me by jumping from a table” Unfortunately for Baekhyun, Jongdae is quite use to his antic (he’s not a drama queen himself, but he has some experience on the pranking department).  
“So basically, you two were drunk, Chanyeol fell, and you were unable to dodge?”  
“Exactly and- wait no, I was perfectly in control of myself, thank you very much. Chanyeol was jumping on everything that was moving!” This wasn’t on Baekhyun plan to ridicule himself, this was supposed to be Chanyeol part (the idiot who wasn’t even defending his cause)  
“To be more exact, you were dancing the Macarena and asked me to show it to everyone by doing it on the table” Chanyeol précised.  
“What?! No! I was chasing you, trying to keep your mouth shut from saying things you shouldn't”  
“Actually, you were the one shouting it before beginning to dance the Macarena”  
Baekhyun blinked, knowing himself by heart, this would have been a possibility, except he didn’t know the Macarena, or he didn’t have the memory of having learning it. But his memory weren’t like that at all. Did he drunk this much, that his memories changed?  
“I second that” said Jongdae  
“You were there?”  
“Well, yeah, I was with my boyfriend you know, Chanyeol”  
…  
“Wait a minute, you’re together!”  
“Wasn’t it obvious for the past two weeks?” asked Jongdae before turning to Chanyeol “You didn’t told him?”  
“I thought I did?”  
“Okay that’s it, I disown you from my best friend list, goodbye Chanyeol” and Baekhyun began to walk away (or more precisely escape the conversation), pride for his best friend finally having made a move, but with a weird feeling surging.  
“Wait! Baekhyun! I’m pretty sure I did!” shouted Chanyeol. And Baekhyun didn’t have a doubt of it while he walked to his first class, and that was the problem.

***

Baekhyun liked to sit on the back. Chanyeol would never come with him, like the nerd he was. As for Luhan, not being in the front would be ‘a selfish act of keeping all of _that_ ”. Baekhyun didn’t complain, Luhan pink hair kept him awake when he had trouble at listening.  
He never bothered to speak to people next to him since college, too much effort for trying to not being catch by the teacher and keeping a conversation going. He used to love it, but not anymore. Baekhyun had dreams. He wanted to graduate, became a singer and why not a prodigious pianist. He had a lovely family, with parent who loved each other and made him dream big because of it. He had friends too, Chanyeol was one from long date and Luhan came along some time after. Baekhyun was a bubble of energy himself and loved showing his rectangular smile, from what people remind him from time to time. His parent would often tell him how much of a troublemaker he was, and with Chanyeol and Luhan, it didn’t helped. He had a brother too, name Baekbeom who is living in USA now with his wife and kids. Teachers couldn’t hold grudge to him, and his grade were more than average. He wasn’t the kind of studying, except for music (though he didn’t studied it), but he had logic that people from his age didn’t.  
He wanted to go see the Eiffel Tower, doing a flash mob, see the concert of his favourite group, and eat a huge pot of ice cream in front of a love movie if he was to experience heartbreak, or just for the fun of it. He liked to met new people, talking was his motto, and a day was a bad day if he didn’t laugh once. Easy to say, he never had a bad day. This was how young Baekhyun used to be.  
Baekhyun now didn’t dream of that, he now appreciate hearing birds when he woke up, going to college while listening to music and all little thing like that. He wanted to have a lot of experience, them being sad or happy, he just wanted to make memories.

Lunch came faster, and soon enough, Baekhyun found himself on their usual table armed with a spoon that he used at least three times on Luhan pink hair.  
“Okay, I think you have hit me enough” protested Luhan  
“I’m planning on giving you a black eye, it’s still not enough” hissed Baekhyun.  
“I wasn’t the one who fell on you!”  
“You’re indirectly the reason, I saw Tao.”  
“And?”  
“And you’re idea for breaking up were a completely dumb idea. The guy understood pretty quickly actually”  
“What are you talking about, he didn’t let you break up for one month”  
“Well, if I hadn’t listened to all of your other brilliant ideas, maybe it would have take less time”  
“Then why didn’t you?”  
“Luhan, it was my first relationship, I didn’t know how to do it. It’s especially because of that, that I needed advice from a friend”  
“And you asked a Casanova” interrupted Jongdae who joined them. He placed his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder. Jongdae was telling the truth, it was kind of obvious they were dating. He smiled discreetly.  
“I mean, the guy change partner like socks, he has to be inventive with his excuse.” Continued Jongdae, while trying to eat lettuce with his head still on Chanyeol shoulder.  
“Well my surname is Casanova, not heartbreaker” said Luhan.  
“Isn’t Casanova synonym to heartbreaker?”  
“Whatever.” Luhan responded, deciding on changing the subject of their conversation “I heard a pretty interesting things while coming here”.  
“Yeah?” said Chanyeol  
“Hmmm, a person who was really reluctant to get out last Saturday night, found himself with company, and not from a lower class at that”  
“Oh, oh, thanks for reminding me of how I was dumped at the door by the person who were supposed to give me assurance at my first party, at least until I was comfortable enough and not alone” Baekhyun answered.  
“First party?” asked Jongdae with a confused tone.  
“ Yeah first since, uh, forever” quickly added Chanyeol while Luhan interjected.  
“Anyway, don’t try to deviate the subject, everyone is talking about it” said Luhan.  
“What, they all danced with someone, no need to make a fuss about it” answered Baekhyun.  
“Maybe, but they weren’t carried bridal style to a room after.”  
“Oh god, this wasn’t a dream” exasperate Baekhyun, planting his head on the table “I thought by luck you were the one who took me Chanyeol, failing as a friend till the end huh”  
“Baek!!”  
“Well, from what I heard, the guy insisted saying ‘boyfriend duty’ or something like that”  
“He _what_!?”  
It was then that Baekhyun felt the chair from his right moving.  
“Hey there _Baekbee_ , how was your beauty sleep?”  
Easy to say, the lunch was cut short when Baekhyun left the table with a long groan.

***

That day, Kai followed Baekhyun everywhere. And even if Baekhyun was the kind of person who didn’t care about what people thought about him, the whisper were becoming kind of annoying. He decided to confront the guy after the last period.  
“Okay, what do you want _Kai_ ”  
Kai smirked, “Finally. I helped you this night, and I need help in exchange”  
“Which is?” Baekhyun said while raising an eyebrow,  
“Well it’s actually not complicate, I need you to be my boyfriend”  
Baekhyun choked “Can you repeat? I think I didn’t heard right”  
“Like I did to you, I need you to keep away potential boyfriend and girlfriend from me”  
“And why don’t you chose one from them to keep away others?”  
Kai shrugged “You seem more interesting, and you kind of have a debt to me. The situation is more easy.”  
Baekhyun blinked “You’re kind of blunt”  
It was Kai turn to raise an eyebrow.  
“I mean you take things like they are, I don’t know a lot of people who would have agreed to make out like that.”  
Kai raised his other eyebrow. “It’s kind of hard to refuse someone who seemed like a kicked puppy. I like puppy, so wanna going out with me?”  
Baekhyun laughed. He wouldn’t lie, Kai was attractive and his first and last experience with the boyfriend things had kind of failed. He took a post-it from his back and wrote on it before giving it to Kai.  
“ _’I, Baekhyun certifies that Kai is my boyfriend’_ ? Is it some sort of contract?” Kai asked  
“Don’t ask question and show it to me when we meet, this is my only condition.”  
“Not even gonna forbid me from falling in love with you or something?”  
“Isn’t it the goal of going out with someone? Though the circumstance of your proposition are kind of special. But if you want reassurance, I’m 100% sure I won’t”  
“ I wouldn’t bet on it Baekbee.”  
“ _And_ , this too. No Baekbee as a surname.”  
“Okay, _honey sweet cookie bee_ ”  
…  
“ _Honey sweet cookie bee_ , don’t you have more easy surname, this one is kinda long”  
Kai inspected Baekhyun, a strange glint in his eyes before responding “ No I kind of like this one”  
“Sweet yourself then”  
“So, does this mean we can make out?”  
Baekhyun, groaned …for a change.

***

When Baekhyun entered the apartment this night, Luhan complained about the pizza being already cold.  
“It was at fifteen minutes from here, how did you do to take one hour and a half?” he asked, almost shouted.  
“The bus was late? Sorry?”  
“You could have walk!”  
“And letting the bus passed me?”  
Chanyeol just sighed saying Luhan to shut up while going to warm up the pizza.  
Baekhyun this night didn’t have any appetite though. The bus wasn’t late, in fact he was in advance. Baekhyun just didn’t take the right one, thinking he was going _home_.

 

***  
The day after, Baekhyun and his usual crew sat at their usual table. Chanyeol and Jongdae giving heart to each other, while Luhan complained (what a surprise) about his new target that didn’t surrounded, _yet_. It was peaceful until he felt a hand on his head and a pair of lips on his forehead.  
“What a good weather we have today, right, _honey sweet cookie bee_?”  
Baekhyun choked on his carrot while trying to understand what was happening, _what the hell?_.  
He turned his head, looking at the guy beside him, who was sitting. As if knowing someone was staring, the guy lifted his head, cocked it to the side before saying “Right”, he searched in his bag before showing to Baekhyun a yellow post-it. “This is what you wanted me to do right?”  
Baekhyun read it, took some carrot in his mouth, munching on it while letting the silence setting comfortably, his brain working at an unusual speed, before nodding slowly.  
“Baekhyun” asked Luhan , “don’t you have something to tell us?”  
“Ah… Yeah, guys, this is Kai, Kai, this is the guys.”  
Luhan snorted “How elaborate, what is this post-it”  
“Our marriage contract” responded Kai. This time, water erupted from more than one mouth (they all have to drink at the same time).  
“Don’t listen to him, we’re just boyfriends!” he shouted along the room.  
Kai laughed while enveloping Baekhyun’s shoulders with his arm “You didn’t have to officialize it to the whole college _honey sweet cookie bee_ , though it’s really fine by me” he winked.  
“Wh- what- no – I” he sighed defeated, shaking his hair with his hand “ _Honey sweet cookie bee_ , don’t you have more easy surname, this one is kinda long” he said while trying to change the subject.  
Kai leaned close to his ear whispering, “ No I kind of like this one”  
“Suit yourself then”  
Kai giggled “it’s the time I asked if we can make out isn’t it?”  
Baekhyun groaned.  
“We are _so_ having a talk tonight” said Luhan  
Baekhyun double groaned.

***

The weeks passed like that. Kai would spend all his free time with them. Though he said he was popular, Baekhyun never heard of him (not that he searched,… or maybe a little). The guy was pleasant to the eyes, and though he didn’t spoke a lot, he always was clear with his answers. Little by little, Baekhyun saw himself speak more and more. Of adventure he had with Chanyeol and Luhan when he was little, what he liked, the music he listened from the moment (which happen to be really old). Kai would always tease him about the group he listened, those being a little old today but Baekhyun didn’t mind.  
“Did you searched about the group I suggested you yesterday?” Kai would ask, and Baekhyun would always make a blank face and shrug, sliding his beautiful fingers in the air. Always resulting on Kai pouting.  
Kai gave him coupons too, those who are tamponed each time you make a visit, telling him it was his responsibility when they get out. Baekhyun didn’t mind, having them placed in his wall, at the most obvious place for a remaining of their _date_. He didn’t understand how they became a real boyfriend/boyfriend relationship, but Kai was good company, so he didn’t ask, keeping them in his desk. No, Baekhyun wanted to live it at his fullest. 

The time passed and they became closer.  
_“Why don’t you give me a surname too?” asked Kai one day.  
“Do you want one?”  
“It could be cool”  
“Hmmmm, I don’t have one in mind” answered Baekhyun.  
“Why not Baby boo?”  
“Baby boo? This is kind of embarrassing don’t you think?”  
Kai looked hard in his eyes this time, smirking. “No, Baby boo’s perfect. Don’t you think Honey sweet cookie bee?” _  
Baekhyun huffed while Kai laughed and took him in his arm, hugging him with more strength than usual.  
Kai found himself taking Baekhyun home with his motorcycle, or taking the bus with him.  
Baekhyun liked being on his motorcycle, the feeling was great, the wind embracing his face, his finger, and the numbness he felt (it wasn’t because he held Kai waist, not at all). Since this day, Baekhyun never lost himself before coming home.  
Baekhyun found himself writing anecdote about Kai in his notebook, thinking every details, experience he lived with Kai had to be remembered.  
Though his two best friends were really happy for him, Baekhyun would catch them with a strange expression sometimes. Not like worry and even more not like jealousy, but wary? Baekhyun didn’t want to think about it, but after saying a sentence or answering questions to Kai or others (with Jongdae refuting his answer most of the time), Chanyeol and Luhan would have this exchange between them (like before) though now they inspected Kai right after. Baekhyun didn’t quite understand, except the rare pout Kai would make, he was kind of inexpressive. His two best friends wouldn’t find what they were searching. Poor things.  
_After coming home, Luhan often enjoyed freaking out Baekhyun, last time he was sitting in the dark on the couch, knotting something looking (already) awful.  
“So my child? How was your date?” he would ask (still in the dark) not moving his eyes from his “work”.  
“Why are you knotting?!” would exclaimed Baekhyun incredulous,  
“Stop me to worrying about my child being late”  
“It’s not even the evening!” would say Baekhyun exasperate. “And it’s an awful pink!”  
“Don’t ask” would say Chanyeol, lying somewhere in the dark on the ground, creeping out Baekhyun even more, he didn’t even noticed him before. Why was Chanyeol lying on the ground, in the dark? Those times, Baekhyun would call Kai back, asking him to save him from crazy people. _

Kai was very attentive to Baekhyun. Baekhyun would have his switch of mood, and Kai would understand it right away. He would open his arms and inviting Baekhyun in it, when he seemed depressed, and be the first to laugh at his joke that weren’t really one when Baekhyun wanted to change subject. They never kissed though. It was Kai who asked him out, and though it was for a debt or something like that, they didn’t fake their interactions. They initiated skin ship even without anyone being in the surrounding. They passed from stranger to friend and well… even more since they were kind of going out (kind of). Kai was growing in Baekhyun heart, and he could only hope it was the same for Kai. When he thought about this, he would reassure himself that Kai asked _him_ and not anyone else. This was enough.  
What would disturb Baekhyun though, would be people. Like he said before, he didn’t mind about others, but the stares he received were kind of overwhelming. One day, he decided to talk about it with the others (at lunch like usual).  
_Jongdae shook his head like he was a desperate case “You are such an oblivious person Baekhyun” he would say and all the others would just nod.  
Kyungsoo, the new addition of the crew (don’t ask how he befriended them, Kyungsoo say it’s kind of embarrassing), decided to save the day.  
“They always had before, you just didn’t paid attention”  
“I still don’t”  
“You paid even less attention then.”  
“You’re attractive Baek” would say Chanyeol.  
“The number of people you have rejected prove that, don’t you think?” added Jongdae.  
Kai reminded quiet during this conversation. Baekhyun didn’t commented on the last sentence too, Jongdae and his prank… Tss.  
“Those aren’t jealousy stare like ‘this bitch is going out with my Kai’?”  
“Nope, not at all, they worship you, you know” Jongdae answered.  
“It kind of surprised us that you decided to date” said Kyungsoo. “I was an outsider of your “crew” by then, so I know more about that. People didn’t dare to come close to you, fearing to scaring ‘your precious being’. They kind of realized you weren’t unapproachable after you and your boyfriend got together”.  
Baekhyun made an incredulous face “My precious being?”  
“Don’t ask, it’s what they call you”  
“This is worst, even ‘Honey sweet cookie bee’ is better” Kai pressed his head on his shoulder, his mouth on his neck “Of course it is” he answered voice low, “You’re my precious being”. This would lead Baekhyun to try (accent in try) to not let the blood rush to his head. The blush would still be the evidence that he lost though. Whistle will ensued and Luhan would be knotting his pink scarf mumbling about child growing up too fast (and were did he have time to grab it?). _  
Anyway, this conversation was soon out of Baekhyun mind.

 

Baekhyun never thought he would get closer to Kai, he thought the guy would get tired of him and leave. Baekhyun was 100% sure of it, not because he thought he was boring or anything like that, he had confidence in himself mind you, but he just had some tendencies that he thought would annoy his partner. Not that he had any experience of it, having only one ex (that he could more call a friend than a boyfriend for that matter). However, much to his surprise, it never happened, on the contrary, he got attached to Kai, and this, for him, was something he thought he never could have, and it scared him a little too, because the more he got closer, the more he feared to disappoint, no, _hurt_ Kai feeling’s. As clichéd as it could be, he has his reason for it.  
Time passing meant break were coming, _Christmas_ break. There was a time Baekhyun wouldn’t be able to wait for it, now he dreaded it. He was with Kai when he was reminded of it. Being with Kai was a precise schedule, Baekhyun liked it, he even posted the schedule they had together. Kai would come Saturday afternoon with sweat on his face, Baekhyun didn’t asked why, and Kai never bothered to tell him why, Baekhyun concluded it wasn’t relevant.  
“So, do you think you would be free for Christmas break”  
A shiver runs down Baekhyun spine. Seeing Baekhyun wasn’t answering, Kai continued  
“I mean, we don’t have to see each other this day particularly, I just want to see you” He said with a smile, a genuine one, _the_ puppy one and Baekhyun get out of his reverie.  
“ I’ll be happy to see you Kai, actually, I don’t have anything planned for the moment.”  
“Aren’t you seeing your family?”  
“They’re busy, Baekbeom is in USA and my parent won’t be in Seoul.” Baekhyun answered.  
“So you’re spending your break alone?”  
“Well, the first week yes, but Chanyeol or Luhan would surely found themselves in our apartment the second week.”  
“Why don’t you spend the first one with me then?”  
“What?! Oh no, no, no ,no ,no, Chanyeol, Luhan and I make sure to never leave the apartment inhabited, I don’t think they would like that” said Baekhyun a little flustered.  
“Come on, it will be fun, my parent won’t eat you I promise”  
“But-“  
“I’ll talk to the guys with you”  
“I-“ Baekhyun breathed, Kai seemed already excited for it “Okay”.  
The _talk_ , resulted of 2 best friends having surprised eyes, looking at Baekhyun as if they couldn’t believe it, panicking, and then taking Kai for a _real_ talk (Baekhyun being exclude of it). They spend half an hour making Baekhyun walking in circle in the living room, trying to eavesdrop (and failing) for having them exiting the room, a fragment of serious face turning on an innocent one. Baekhyun didn’t knew where to look, though Kai eyes told him everything. He never asked them what the real talk was about. Luhan tried to give hint like “ssssssss-ix”, Baekhyun would smile, but _he knew_ , Luhan left eyebrow was more low than his right, meaning just one thing Luhan was lying. It was a tic he discovered in his youngness. That’s when he wondered if he had told Luhan and Chanyeol about his burden. Never mind, Baekhyun was going to Kai’s home this Christmas.

The day before the departure, instead of doing their own luggage, Luhan and Chanyeol were walking left and right, putting this and that in Baekhyun things. Baekhyun couldn’t feel less parented than that.  
“And the last touch-” said Chanyeol.  
“-your awful post it with awful colors” completed Luhan.  
Baekhyun caught the post-it in mid air. “Already put some on it mom, dad” said sarcastically Baekhyun.  
“By mom and dad you mean me as the father figure right?” asked Luhan.  
Baekhyun not so discreetly rolled his eyes “Nope”, he said with a pronounced ‘p’ “Chanyeol’s not knotting an awful pink scarf”.  
“I’m knotting it for him!” protested Luhan.  
“For the trash, you mean. Don’t include me in your doubtful sins” responded Chanyeol “there is no way I’m wearing pink like that, and even less chance with something that you have made”  
They became their petty conversation while Baekhyun filmed the interaction, kind of blazed.  
_Told you Chanyeol was cheating on you, already arguing like an old married couple_  
Send Baekhyun to Jongdae, or so he thought.  
“What the hell Baekhyun, don’t send that to Dae! He’s already questioning our OT3 relationship!”  
Baekhyun send the text to the last person it was supposed to be send to… Oups?  
“First of all, there is no OT3, only a Chanhan couple, and second of all, he saw worst, like you two sleeping on each others in the couch with only boxers?”  
“You little-“  
Easy to say Luhan and Chanyeol never had their luggage ready for their departure the next day.

***

They boarded the train just in time. They passed time by imagining the life of others who were in the train. Baekhyun having his head on Kai shoulders and Kai sliding his fingers up and down Baekhyun back.  
“Baek?”  
“Hm?”  
“Hum, I don’t know how to say it, but I never found the occasion to..” Kai said.  
“What is it?”  
“I really hope it won’t upset you, I’m kind of popular and I thought you knew so I never took time to correct you”  
“Kai”, said calmly Baekhyun “tell me what you want to, like you always do”  
Kai took a deep breath “Okay, hum do you have a post it?”  
Baekhyun smiled as an answer, giving him what he wanted, though he was kind of nervous about what Kai wanted to say. “Here”.  
Kai thanked him and took a pen before writing. He gave it to him after.  
“You gave me one, it’s only fair that I give you one too.” He explained.  
_‘Jongin, honey sweet cookie bee’s boyfriend’_  
Baekhyun blinked. “Jongin”  
“Yeah, hum, I said Kai because I didn’t wanted anyone to know my name at the party, I wasn’t invited you see, and I didn’t want people to found me thanks to my name, so I kind of said the surname people would call me when I was little, I didn’t want to deceive you I swear and after it kind of left my mind, a lot of people call me by that name so I really don’t take attention to it but…. I really want you to call me by my name” Kai, no Jongin whispered the last sentence, with a hint of a blush on his tan cheek.  
“So this is your name?”  
Jongin nodded, he seemed so shy it was kind of cute.  
“Jongin” Baekhyun tried the name on his tongue. “What’s your full name? I kind of never asked”  
Kai lifted his head “ Kim Jongin”  
“Well then Kim Jongin, I’m Byun Baekhyun.” He said with a big smile before giving a peek on Jongin's cheek.  
“I’m going to annoy you senseless for the next week, if you survive, you’re forgiven” continued Baekhyun with a wink.  
Jongin was in a kind of .jpg mode before dumbly nodding. At that Baekhyun began laughing so hard, like he didn’t have since … since so long that he kind of didn’t remember it.

***

Even if Baekhyun said he would annoy _Jongin_ senseless, he didn’t. When Jongin arrived at his house with Baekhyun on his tail, Baekhyun became very shy, so shy that his face looked even more irresistible (more than the puppy face Jongin would made to him sometime).  
Jongin family welcomed him with open arms. Her mother though gave a piece of her mind to his son for hiding such a cute _honey cookie_ (now Baekhyun knew from where Jongin inherited the ability of making weird surname) and the fact that she hadn’t prepared any Christmas present for him.  
When Jongin father saw Baekhyun, he ordered him to sit on the kitchen table making a showdown. Jongin father won, not without difficulty, however.  
“He seem like a fluff ball, but he has strength, good choice Gin” he acknowledged.  
They passed the week together, being teased by Jongin parents or older brother. Baekhyun was kind of surprised, two men loving each other were rarely accepted. He expected them being cold with him, or not letting them in at all. On the contrary, they laughed with him, made sure he was comfortable, and though the wife of Jongin’s brother seemed more unaccepting, Jongin’s brother would scold her. The woman quickly warmed up to him, though. Baekhyun enjoyed himself.  
“So Baekhyun, I heard you were living with two friend of yours. Are you cooking?” Jongin’s mother asked.  
“Uh, yeah, Chanyeol often cook, but Luhan and me does it sometimes too”  
“Are you eating enough of varieties?”  
Baekhyun smiled and nodded energetically.  
“Of course!”  
He heard Jongin snorting and turned to him.  
“Do you have something to say about it?” he asked.  
Jongin shook his head with a smirk while lifting his hand.  
“Not at all, tell them what you cook darling.”  
Baekhyun frowned before answering with enthusiasm.  
“Well, when Chanyeol absented himself for a week, we made an agreement with Luhan to not eat the same thing during the week.”  
Jongin mother nodded, approving.  
“So I made pasta with cheese at lunch, while he made pasta without anything at dinner. We ate ramyeon the next day, and tomato pasta the evening and then….” Baekhyun listed all kind of pasta meal that could have existed on the planet while Jongin’s mother changed her face from approval to horrified and Jongin, his brother and wife where laughing in the background (with Jongin father too, but he did it discreetly, probably fearing the repercussions).  
“Honey cookie, that is not various at all!”  
Baekhyun tilted his head “Really, from all I’m remembering, I always considered it various”  
“Oh, Baekhyun, I think we have some urgent cooking lesson to plan before you come back. I’m sure your mother cooked various when you were little.” She said while patting his head.  
“I’m sure she did” he replied smoothly.

***

The next day, Baekhyun didn’t felt good at all when he woke up. He was disoriented, and began to panic a little seeing someone sleeping next to him. He jolted far from the figure, waking the figure that groaned and asked him five more minute of sleep. It’s when the figure realizes that Baekhyun didn’t move that he thought something was wrong. He exited his head from the blanket and looked at him. His eyes were dark chocolate, intense and _beautiful_. The figure was really awesome, and Baekhyun think that well, it’s not bad to waking up next to him, today.  
The figure sighed.  
“Sorry” he began then stare at him in the eyes again, maybe even straight in his soul “Sorry _honey sweet cookie bee_ , I fell asleep before I realized it.”  
Baekhyun blinked, remembering, then smiled.  
“It’s okay Jongin, it’s just being a while since I saw your sleepy face” Baekhyun grinned, “You have some saliva there”.  
Jongin put his hand where Baekhyun indicated then pouted, “You always manage to trick me” He whined.  
“Not my fault, you always fall for it.”  
Jongin then enveloped him in his arm, and trapped him under the blanket as a come back. Baekhyun didn’t complained.

***

During Christmas, while they were all eating, Baekhyun excused himself, receiving a call.  
“Hey” He says to the caller.  
“Baekhyun!” say the voice “How are you?”  
“Still the usual” answered Baekhyun.  
“Ah…” replied the feminine voice.  
“Your father and I were planning on seeing you this year, but we had an impeachment at the last minute. You know how your father work is.”  
“I do” answered Baekhyun. But they all knew that his father retired himself some years ago. He knew his mother was testing him, and he wasn’t up to be tested today, he didn’t correct her false statement. Before, he would ask them to make some time, but his parent would always find another excuse. This holydays, he disposed them of searching one.  
“Right”, her mother said. “We are kind of making wait our host right now. Merry Christmas from your father and I Baekhyun. I’ll call you back soon” she told him. And Baekhyun knew that the next time would be for the New Year, then his birthday, then Christmas again.  
“Whatever” He said before hanging up, not letting her mother call him after his rude answer. This was the first time he did that he thinks, but he was too tired for this. Baekhyun took his phone back on his pocket, then after refreshing his face with water, he made his way to the living room, where there was nothing but warm and laugh, his phone call forgotten.

They come back to Seoul, after exactly one week at staying with Jongin’s parents. Jongin will stay at Baekhyun’s, Baekhyun’s proposition (only fair he justified, it wasn’t because he didn’t want to be separate from Jongin). Luhan was already here with three cup of Champagne already drunk.  
“Hey lovebirds” he acknowledged them, and Baekhyun swore Luhan had already drunk one bottle for himself.  
“Luhan, I think you should low on the alcohol for some time” he said to him.  
“Nonsense, nonsense, those are _the _holyday you drunk” He replied.  
“You said that for the summer’s one” Baekhyun recall him.  
Luhan grinned, but Baekhyun could now see Luhan had something bothering him.  
“Wow, Baekhyun, why do you always remember sentence that make me guilty” Baekhyun froze at the choice of words then replied with a sweet voice.  
“What can I say, occasion of making you guilty are quite rare, since you usually don’t have a conscience. I have to jump on all opportunity I have.”  
Luhan rolled his eyes, and Jongin placed his chin on his head, the boy being quite tired from the travel.  
He saw Luhan tense  
“Hum, Bae-“  
“Baekhyun!” exclaimed a voice coming from his room. Baekhyun straightened.  
“Mom”  
“Oh, my boy! You have grown so much” Baekhyun couldn’t believe it. He sensed Jongin tensing as well and leaving his head, his turn to straightening himself. Baekhyun sighed and took Jongin hand, he had nothing to hide.  
“What are you doing here?” he asked both his parent, his father being silent on the background.  
“Is it what you say to your parent when you didn’t saw them from a long time?” his mother answered him.  
He sighed again.  
“I wasn’t expecting you is all.”  
His mother faked a laugh (they aren’t really good at faking laugh in his family)  
“Oh but we noticed you beforehand” She had the audacity to say. Baekhyun formed a fist with his free hand while Jongin squeezed the other one.  
“I remember quite right our last conversation mom. You were busy with father inexistent work”.  
The left eyes of his mom twitched. She decided to change the subject.  
“And who’s this young boy?”  
Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “Kai, this is my parents, parents, this is Kai, my boyfriend”  
At this world, the temperature turned icy cold, until his mother laughed.  
“You’re so funny my son”  
“Do I need to kiss him in front of you?” He wouldn’t, they still hadn’t kissed and he wouldn’t waste their first kiss in front of his parents. But this seemed to knock enough of sense in his mother head.  
“You wouldn’t” replied her mother, with an offended tone.  
“Wanna bet it?”  
“Watch your tone, young man, your father and I didn’t raised you like that”  
Baekhyun smirked.  
“ _Oh, I know_. Today’s one of my lucid one” he replied. Those words made his mother paled.  
“I’m having a lot of them recently. So, what are you doing here? I’m pretty sure our relationship ended when you throw me out two years ago”  
“You’re disillusioning yourself son” his mother had the nerve to protest.  
“Baekbeom is the father of two girls, he left when he had the first occasion from your house. From this time, you had beaten me up and used advantage of my condition.” Baekhyun began, letting Jongin’s hand go and advancing forward his parents “It has took a long time for those memory to come back, it was quite a traumatism after all. But two years ago, when I told you my preference for men, you made pretty sure to make me understand I wasn’t welcomed anymore. Was it funny to call me at Christmas like nothing happened?” He was now at one step from his mother.  
His mother was now full of tears.  
“Son, how can you? After all I-”  
Baekhyun turned away, closing his eyes.  
“Get out of here, I can’t stand the sight of you.”  
“My s-“  
“Darling, we should listen to him” said his father, speaking for the first time. Baekhyun didn’t spared them a glance, however, he did feel the pat his father gave him before walking out of the apartment.  
Jongin was still standing at the door with feet still on his shoes. Luhan had his jaw dropped.  
“Did you just did what I think you did?”  
Baekhyun finally opened his eyes full of tears.  
“I had too, did you saw how she looked at me, it’s eating her. Better not … It’s better like that.”  
“You’re aware this destroyed her?”  
“She’ll only be depressed for some day, but she’ll surpassed it. Baekbeom will be here too.” He replied, tears now making their way on his cheeks. Though his mother was from old school (meaning gay wasn’t conveyable for her) she loved her sons. A little too much for her own good actually. She would always worry about them, especially Baekhyun state. Baekhyun decided to end one of her worries today. He was never beaten, but if her mother thought he thought he was, she wouldn’t want to show herself at him anymore, fearing to bring him hurtful memories, fake ones, but still. She’ll let him go. He wasn’t lying when he said he was lucid. His brother conversations over the phone, his father too, they were both telling him about the state her mother was for him. They all asked him to free her from it. He just did that, hoping this would do.  
“You’re an idiot Baek, this won’t work, only making it worse”  
“She always respected our will, I just made her understand that I hated her and wouldn’t want to see her anymore, she’ll do it”  
Baekhyun then escaped in his room. Utterly crying when he smelled the remaining of his mother perfume on his room. Jongin joined him not long after, enveloping him in a hug and saying soothing things to him. Like that, Baekhyun fell asleep. __

__***_ _

__Baekhyun woke up early in the morning, feeling his eyes sore from crying too much. The side of Jongin sleeping face was very welcomed, thank you very much. There were entangled on Baekhyun’s bed, Jongin hugging him as close as he could. He just stayed like that, looking at him and enveloping him slowly in the blanket Jongin had surely gave him last night. He felt sorry for having led Jongin in this mess. Jongin, patient Jongin, arrogant Jongin, puppy Jongin, annoying Jongin, sweet Jongin, idiot Jongin, innocent Jongin. _Jongin_. (Who was actually awake now, and looking at him, though his eyes still were daze from sleep).  
“Hey” Baekhyun said. And Jongin just hummed, hiding his face from light on Baekhyun neck. Baekhyun smile and begin to make circle on Jongin back.  
“Wake up sleepy head” Jongin hug him ever tighter.  
“I’m gonna push you on the ground”  
“Then you’ll fall too” was Jongin response, who now had his mouth close to Baekhyun ear and place a kiss just here. Baekhyun took a huge breath, reminding himself that Jongin was more younger than him (Two years actually), and he had to have patience (from his little tantrum and his self control about thing adult do, that his innocent Jongin shouldn’t know about. Okay… the last thing was just disillusion, but no comment). He then lifted his knee, kicking Jongin not so far from his precious jewel and Jongin yelped from surprise and maybe just a little from indignation. Jongin fall on the ground and Baekhyun laughed, telling him that he warned him. Even if Baekhyun was laughing, he was thinking too, they needed to talk, Jongin had the right to know, he’ll just go in it progressively. When Jongin finally rose up, the blanket falling slowly from his shoulders and sleep left from his eyes, Baekhyun spoke up.  
“Sorry for yesterday Jongin.”  
Jongin dismissed it with a shook from his head. “It’s okay”.  
“It isn’t” protested Baekhyun, “your luggage is still at the entry I bet.”  
Jongin flush at that and Baekhyun was just even more ashamed, what a host he was, while he was like a king at Jongin’s house.  
Baekhyun hurried to the living room, taking Jongin luggage to his room.  
“Maybe you should take a shower” Baekhyun then said, “Make yourself at home okay? We’re gonna take a walk after” He smiled.  
Jongin was looking bluntly at him, then nodded. Before asking,  
“Wanna join me?”  
“I don’t know, it’s been a while I didn’t test my hapkido kick in the bathroom”  
Jongin hold his hand up “I never asked this question” he said while exiting the room, only to show his head again at the door  
“You practiced Hapkido naked in the bathroom?” he asked.  
“Jongin” Baekhyun began, but Jongin was already running away, his laugh echoing in the apartment. Why did Baekhyun ever thought Jongin was innocent again? Baekhyun groaned, falling on his bed, hearing a protest in the living room about people being too loud (Luhan probably awoke on the couch)._ _

__They left for a walk, silent, and Baekhyun realized how lucky he was to have Jongin. Jongin didn’t asked question about what happened yesterday night. Probably thinking Baekhyun will tell him someday, or maybe not, but it’s admirable, Baekhyun knew he wouldn’t be able to retain himself to ask.  
“I used to play” He began. They were holding hand, and Baekhyun noticed he surprised Jongin, by the way his hand moved a little. How did he came to notice even this little thing, he didn’t know, it just happened.  
“Piano used to be everything to me” he continued. “It was one of the thing my mother let me do freely, between all the expectation she gave to me and my brother, Baekbeom”. And then, Baekhyun counted him some memories he had from his mother before.  
To sum up, Baekhyun’s mother came from the high society. She liked to brag about herself and her family to other, show how perfect was her life. And she could, she had a husband who earned a lot of money, and two sons who had quite the IQ at a young age. And even with that and the strict expectation her mother gave to him and Baekbeom, the four of them got along with each other pretty well. They really were happy. Sure him and his brother would complain together, but who never had complained about their parent?  
In their district, Sunday afternoons was reserved for the reunion of all the ladies. Baekhyun mother would brought Baekbeom as much as she could until he had grown up enough and became to show how much he dreaded those Sunday’s afternoons. She then decided to bring her latest son, Baekhyun.  
Till then, Mrs Byun could bring even more about her perfect family, her sons always studying, and her latest being so bright and polite with the others ladies; he was quite the star at those afternoons. At those times he was between seven and nine years old. And he discovered a passion: piano. It was soon obvious how a prodigy he was t, and her mother was even more delighted. She would ask him to play one different piece every Sunday, and Baekhyun never minded the stress of it, he loved piano, and if her mother would let him play instead of reviewing his math lessons for the next day, then it wasn’t a problem. Still, his mother never brought him to competition, knowing too much how it could disgust people from their passion, or just losing them in the way. His mother used to be a very known violinist. She knew that much. So Baekhyun just played at home, and those Sunday afternoons. Plus some song at a club, from a short period of time, the stereo being broken, a teacher wouldn’t have been able to train his students at times for their ballet dance spectacle if it wasn’t for Baekhyun play.  
All hell broke lose when he turned fourteen though. He had catch a disease, a though one, which was there for quite a time, developing itself, but Baekhyun was stubborn and hid it for some time, until he couldn’t support the pain anymore. And piano, study even others things were out of question for Baekhyun. He never came back to those Sunday afternoons after. (he didn’t told the last sentences to Jongin though.)  
“She didn’t beat me, never had. I just made up this thing on the moment” he finished. They had now stopped walking, standing next to a building.  
“I know” answered Jongin, looking at the building in front of them, while Baekhyun was staring at him. “You made quite some story in front of Tao too”  
“Ah.. Yeah”  
“May I.. May I know why you made this story?”  
“It’s- It’s quite complicate, maybe next time” Baekhyun said, looking at the ground.  
“Next time then” said Jongin “Do you remember this building Baekhyun?”  
Baekhyun lifted his head, looking in front of them.  
“This- this is where I used to play.” Baekhyun frowned “How?”  
Jongin laughed.  
“Didn’t Kim Jongin rung a bell to you when I presented myself” He asked with a smirk on his face, a very familiar one.  
“Not really, I mean, maybe I heard it before? I don’t really remember… Sorry”  
Jongin shook his head, smirk still on his face.  
“Every Saturday, I dance with my troupe. We’re kind of popular you know? But Jongdae and Kyungsoo are right, you’re kind of oblivious. That’s what made me fall for you actually”.  
Baekhyun widened his eyes  
“Fall?”  
But Jongin had already grabbed his hand, leading him to the building.  
“Come on, I think they still hadn’t changed the code.” He said, and soon enough they were in the building.  
While they were walking in it, Jongin was still speaking.  
“I dance all sort of dance, but I began firstly with ballet. The stereo broke before my first solo, my teacher and I were so desperate, I couldn’t train myself for the spectacle, and all the troupe too actually.” He said while turning right, then left, a path that seemed familiar to Baekhyun. He then opened a door, that Baekhyun knew quite well: he used to play here. The room hadn’t changed at all, if you didn’t looked at the huge enceinte and stereo. The piano was still there too. Without meaning to, Baekhyun was already in front of it, caressing the key. He pressed one, and an awful sound came out, the piano not being used or tuned for quite some time. He then retracted his hand, noticing what he had just done. Then his eyes widened. He turned his head to Jongin. Jongin had a piercing gaze, so intense; Baekhyun could lose himself in it. He inspected Jongin feature once more, a new light on it.  
“You’re Nini aren’t you?”  
He watched Jongin closing his eyes, a sad smile on his lips.  
“That’s right”  
“Nini, Minnie and Hunnie, you three were my favourites!” Baekhyun exclaimed and then looked at Jongin, comparing his face with the feature he remembered from Nini.  
“Even then I didn’t gave you my real name.” whispered Jongin genuinely. “I thought you forgot me, but you just didn’t knew my name.”  
“Of course not, how could I forget the spring of Satan!” Just remembering what the three were doing back then made Baekhyun shudder (even if he taught them a few things himself).  
“Though I have to admit, your dancing skill are amazing” Baekhyun continued. “ I wouldn’t mind seeing how it progressed” He said, coming close to Jongin then placing his palm on his cheek. “You grow up awesomely Nini”. Jongin placed his hand on Baekhyun’s, leaning on Baekhyun’s palm, tears in his eyes.  
“Only if you play for me,” Jongin answered at his sentence. Baekhyun turned his gaze away.  
“I don’t play anymore,” Baekhyun whispered. Jongin’s palm on Baekhyun’s hand tightened.  
“It’s never late to begin again” Though Baekhyun didn’t say no, he didn’t say yes. In fact, he didn’t respond. They took some distance from each other.  
“Taemin and Sehun” Jongin said then.  
Baekhyun blinked.  
“Minnie and Hunnie, their real name are Taemin and Sehun.”  
Baekhyun’s mouth formed an ‘o’.  
“I’m sure they’ll be glad to meet you again. They’re on a different college though, but we dance together every Saturday if you want to come.”  
Baekhyun nodded.  
They soon came back at the apartment. The rest of the week passed without other incidents and soon enough they came back to college. _ _

__***_ _

__Knowing his true name, Baekhyun realized that yes, Jongin was popular. Jongin was actually majoring in dance, when he had dance class, Baekhyun could hear girls squealing and hurrying at the dance building while he was making his way to his class.  
Baekhyun was soon introduced to Jongin’s dance team, at Saturday. He recognized instantly the two other devils. Sehun had kept his bitch face, and Taemin his angel one. They had grown up too, the three of them having an head more than him actually. All the team had to be honest. Their nature were still the same, Sehun just snorted at him, looking him from head to toe, as if mocking him (he _so_ was) and Taemin just always smiled and blinked naively (but ruffled Baekhyun’s hair quite hardly), where was the respect for their senior? Anyway, he was glad to see them again, those brats.  
He was introduced to the captain too. His name was Yixing and his boyfriend, Junmyeon, kept Baekhyun company when the others were training. Junmyeon was the same height than him, that was exactly why Baekhyun had decided that he was his favourite, and he recognize him quite easily. They stay more often looking at the troupe, jaw dropping, than speaking at each other though.  
Baekhyun soon found out that Luhan’s hard conquest was Sehun (he was still traumatized about it to be honest, but he was quite proud of his brat, he had gave him an opportunity to be bribed by Luhan. His very first one was to making his awful look-like-but-not-really pink scarf destroyed and disappearing from earth forever). They then became three at sitting on the bench (with jaw hanging).  
Yixing, like his boyfriend, was a sweetheart, but was quite serious when it came to choreography. That’s why, when their stereo gave up on life, Baekhyun had feared for his life, even if the glare was directed to the stereo.  
It could be easy to take another one and charge the song on the web, but Yixing made this one with his own material on the really old supplies (the ancestor of the ancestor of CD). Making the song once again would take some time, and they didn’t have one, the competition being in two weeks. That's’ why he was quite desperate.  
This day the troupe all left dejected, Jongin being one of them. Jongin was so disturbed that he forgot to take Baekhyun home (Luhan has already left, not letting his prey out of his eyes for one second).  
Seeing Jongin and the nice troupe this dejected, Baekhyun made a detour this evening. He took a path he had take with Jongin the last break, and taped the code at the entry of a building without thinking about it. The code really hadn’t change. Baekhyun had quite the musical ear, and he wanted to make what he was willing to do right now, before he cowered again, or before the tune left his mind.  
He entered the same room, which contained a lot of memories, and walked straight to the more far coin of the room. He played with the chord of the instrument for some time, making sure that they all had the good intonation before sitting himself on the bench in front of the instrument, full of dust. He placed his phone, not to far away, making sure that his application recorded what he was about to do. He was sure he wouldn’t be able to do it twice.  
Then, he focused on what he wanted to do, reciting the song over and over again in his head before letting his fingers move alone, thinking note after note in his head, for them to become something he had played again and again before. Even if he never had, this worked, his fingers, his body, knew so well the instrument he was facing, that it played as if it has a mind on his own. While playing, he felt this feeling he loved but also one that he hated and had to retain himself from stopping playing more than once, reminding himself that this was for Jongin, for his three disciples when he was young, for the troupe who had welcome him with open arms every Saturday, even when he gave them weird face sometimes, or forget their names over and over again. The last note played, Baekhyun released a breath and ended the recording he created. He listened to it, and this really sounded like the song he heard this afternoon (he patted his shoulder mentally for that). However there was some silence before he had began to play and some too when he had ended it, and the quality could be better. He knew that for competition, those details were quite important and could make you lose some points. So when he came back at the apartment, when he saw Chanyeol on the couch standing up, ready to gave him a tirade that he really didn’t want to hear, he stopped him by apologizing first (thing that he never do, which worked on making his friend shut up) and asked him for a favour.  
“You always say you’re the best at producing song in your class. I need you to prove it to me right now” He said (this is his way to ask for favour okay?)  
Chanyeol frowned but answered him anyway,  
“Yeah? I have these school thing to write tomorrow, and after –“  
“I actually would like to see your supposed competence right now”  
“Baekhyun, it’s two in the morning-“  
“Chanyeol, please?”  
Seeing how serious Baekhyun looked, Chanyeol sighed and led him to his room. _ _

__Chanyeol has separated his room in two, creating a studio at the right of the room. He entered his studio of fortune that Baekhyun had never wanted to visit before and then asked Baekhyun for the song.  
“Oh, yeah right, hum, do you have a cable for my phone?”  
Chanyeol frowned again in disgust  
“Your friend have made it in their phone? No wonder you want me to arrange it” He still gave him the cable. Chanyeol searched for the song in his phone, not teasing him about how old were all his song, and soon found the document. He sighed before wearing his headphone and began to start the song. It was funny how his face changed after forty second of listening and snapped his head at Baekhyun. He retired his headphones and before he could speak, Baekhyun cut in not really wanting to answer Chanyeol questions,  
“Could you delete the moment when the piano isn’t playing? There is also some imperfection with how sound the Sol, it couldn’t be tuned right.” He said, his eyes looking everywhere but at Chanyeol.  
He didn’t see how Chanyeol was reacting, but saw a huge movement from him (probably a nod) and put his headphones again. Baekhyun observed awkwardly the studio while waiting. Chanyeol had a lot of instruments, more than Baekhyun remember he had before entering college. He also noticed his beloved guitar that he hadn’t seen since… since he had stopped interesting himself in all thing that were related to music. He realized that Chanyeol had never amused himself at playing with it outside his studio, that he hadn’t heard Luhan sing from a very long time too. He closed his eyes, his friends were so caring, and he hadn’t even noticed it. Music used to be a passion for the three of them, that what had made them know each other now that he think about it. How hard it must have been to hold from playing? Talking about it when he was there? They always ate together, lived in the same apartment. Thinking about it Baekhyun felt really horrible. He snapped from his thoughts when he saw his phone illuminating. Was it the first time? Six missed calls… probably not. Chanyeol already having transferred the document from his phone, Baekhyun took it and call back the person.  
“Baekhyun! Thanks god! I totally forgot to take you home, Yixing and I were thinking about a way to make the song again or just changing and making another dance, I didn’t even noticed that you left! Where are you? Luhan just called me panicking, saying you weren’t in your room..”  
Just at this moment, a very angry Luhan entered Chanyeol’s room, shouting incoherent things about how Baekhyun had surely lost himself, or even worse was kidnapped before stopping when he came face to face with the person he was worried about, Baekhyun who was still holding his phone. Chanyeol, well Chanyeol was too immersed in what he was doing to notice what was happening beside him (he sure was deadly concentrate with how loud Luhan had been).  
“Finish!” exclaimed then Chanyeol, stretching one hand in the air and retiring his headphones with the second.  
“Baek, come and tell me what a god I am” he continued, not noticing the dark aura that was glaring at him, becoming more dark by seconds.  
“I’m home Jongin, don’t worry” he whispered at his phone, sensing the storm coming. “Tell Yixing to reunite everyone tomorrow at the practice room like they were supposed too, I’ll explain you later. Love you!” He said in the moment, not really noticing what his last two words were before hanging up. He then retracted in one corner of the room, hearing Chanyeol saying how difficult this task was but that he succeeded on it at such a short period, while Luhan already had his hand targeting his neck stepping closer.  
“Chanyeol” he said lowly. And Chanyeol snapped from his speech about his awesomeness ,  
“Oh, hey Luhan… shit”  
“Shit alright…. I was on a date with Sehun when you called telling me that _Baekhyun wasn’t home_ , I run all the city and ditch the only opportunity I had with Sehun and you just say shit?!” The voice of Luhan was becoming louder and louder as he spoke.  
“I was going to call you back, but Baekhyun kind of surprised me with his request and I forgot and-“  
“You forgot! Can you even imag- wait a minute, what are you doing in Chanyeol studio Baekhyun?”  
“Thought I would take a look at the interior” Baekhyun replied nonchalantly (Luhan tried more than one time to drag Baekhyun in this room).  
Luhan is literally fuming from his nose.  
“You two, you planned it didn’t you? You knew Sehun was finally, _finally_ going to give in. What were you doing at one in the morning outside Baekhyun?” He hissed.  
“Taking a walk” Baekhyun shrugged, dismissing Luhan. “Can I take the song back Chanyeol?”  
Chanyeol nodded dumbly, reading himself about surely confronting Baekhyun.  
“Baekhyun, this-“  
“I’m gonna sleep now. Thank you Chanyeol, Luhan” He then began to walk but stopped after two steps and turned his head to his two friends, _best_ friends.  
“Thank you, you two, sincerely, and sorry, I- I, hum”  
“We’ll wait for you to be ready” answered Chanyeol, smiling assuredly at him, “don't stress yourself about it and take your time okay?”  
Luhan had his eyes softening, even if he didn’t really understood the situation and Baekhyun could feel tears coming, with how grateful he was to have them, even if he didn’t deserved them at all. He nodded, and went to his room, sleeping with a smile on his lips this night, and even when he woke up the next morning, each minutes of the last day was still fresh in his mind._ _

__***_ _

__The next day, he joined Jongin and his troupe the afternoon at the practice room.  
“Baek!” Jongin said, his face brightening when he saw him. “I took my enceinte like you asked”  
“Good” smiled Baekhyun.  
“So Baekhyun, Jongin told us that you had an idea,” said Yixing.  
“Yeah,” Baekhyun replied, taking his phone on his hand and pushing soon after the ‘play’ button. The song of a piano playing welcomed them, having more than one pair of eyes widening.  
“This- this is my song” said Yixing.  
“Yeah, there is only the piano though. I have a friend who could add some effect and even know people who play other instrument if you want. I just though that for your training you’ll need at least a track”  
“No! No, actually, this sound better like that, I can even imagine some part of the choreography suiting just like it should, it’s played perfectly, but … how?” Yixing asked.  
Baekhyun looked at his feet “I just played it, the rest is all thanks to Chanyeol, my friend,” he played with his fingers.  
Yixing laughed in disbelief while Sehun gave him one of his rare smile (Taemin ruffled his hair like always but more gently).  
“So you’re still playing,” Taemin exclaimed. “Baekhyun is the best at it Hyung! I can even feel the longing you wanted to express in the music more accentuate!” Taemin continued innocently.  
Yixing still send him a glare, the punk just had denigrate his work a little there. Baekhyun snorted at that.  
“So you’re a pianist” interjected Junmyeon enthusiastically.  
“When I was young, I stopped since.” Baekhyun began to feel uncomfortable at where the conversation was going.  
“You stopped? But this is awesome! It would be awesome to see you play!”  
“Not until he show me first” interrupted Jongin “And if he’s too awesome at playing it, there is no way I’m sharing” he added, grabbing Baekhyun’s finger, stopping him to play with it and damage them. “Now people, can we return to our training? We lost enough time yesterday”  
“You’re not the captain of me” retorted Sehun, grabbing one arm of Baekhyun (Sehun nearly whined, and he never did that normally). Jongin retired it “But I’m this guy’s boyfriend, and if you touch him with your dirty paw again, I’ll be the boss of you.”  
At this word, everyone laughed, and they resumed to what they were supposed to do, the song of Baekhyun being repeated again and again.  
Junmyeon this time had his eyes closed some time, listening to the music. Luhan joined them a little later and while seating on the bench, next to Junmyeon, he blinked.  
“The piano…”  
“Is Baekhyun’s” said Junmyeon. Luhan examined Baekhyun who didn’t even noticed Luhan arrival, to engross in looking at Jongin’s movement along the piano, that _he_ played.  
“Did he?” He whispered as lowly as he could.  
“Yes, the troupe was really depressed about the incident yesterday, everyone’s overjoyed by it” whispered in return Junmyeon, noticing Luhan envy to being discrete. Luhan nodded.  
“His play.. he remind me of someone who had the same talent when I was younger” Said Junmyeon.  
“Really?” asked Luhan, Baekhyun was so talented, he doubted it.  
“I never saw how he looked, only from far away, but he used to play at the hospital my father is working in. He was my father’s patient actually.” Added Junmyeon. This picked the attention of Luhan.  
“Your father is a doctor?”  
“A neurologist.”  
“And what about this patient?”  
“I don’t know much details about it, my father never really told me, professional secret and all, but the kid was a passionate, that I could see. I saw the end of him playing too...”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Well, I know the boy was around fourteen at this time, he would have around your age now actually. He was hospitalized for a long time, my father told me he had a nasty thing in his brain, and I didn’t have difficulties to believe him. The nurses at this time were only talking about the kid crisis. He had lot of pain attacks; the entire corridor could hear him when it happened. His state wasn’t favourable at all. My father told me that he couldn’t associate his movements sometime. The thing kept trying to expend. Still, the kid kept insisting at being sent to the hall for playing after one of his crisis, saying it soothed him. No one complained actually, his play was… wonderful. I could sense he gave his all in it, he never made a mistake, and god know how draining it is to have pain crisis. Then, he asked to go there more often then before, playing for hours, he even made a public for himself at this time. I kept asking about his state though, and my father kept telling me that he was miraculously improving. The kid had a will of steel, like he had insisted to continue at playing the piano when he wasn’t able to coordinate his movement. Then one day, before being released, he just snapped, made an awful song and just left the room. He never played again. I heard a nurse calling after him before leaving, asking him if he didn’t want to do one last performance in the hall. ‘I never played piano before’ was all he answered. The kid seemed to have forgotten that he played piano. No one ever saw his face because there was this strange curtain, only the nurse and my father knew who he was, his mother was quite overprotective about people knowing his disease. My father said he never saw a mother like that, afraid of him being known thanks to his capacities. There was quite a lot of mother who would have been overjoyed at bringing about their son capacities after all. Anyway, the kid succeeded at winning over his disease. My father speak about him from time to time, he is one of his three favourite patients. When someone is depressed in our family, he always recalled us the fight of the kid who is still alive today. His chances were really low apparently.”  
Luhan was biting his lips.  
“You don’t know what he had?”  
“No, like I said professional secret”  
Luhan nodded a little disappointed.  
“Wait, you heard a nurse call after him, what did she called him?”  
Junmyeon made a face.  
“It’s been a long time,” he then furrowed his eyebrow in concentration “Byun!” He exclaimed, louder than the noise the piano song was making “Mister Byun!” he said all smile.  
Being called, Baekhyun snapped from his trance (as in fantasizing about his boyfriend performance)  
“Did you call Junmyeon?” he asked.  
Junmyeon who now was quite close to Luhan (for being able to speak without shouting over the music when he counted his story) turned his head to Baekhyun.  
“Huh?”  
“Byun, you called me Byun, which is quite rude actually hyung I thought we were at the first name stage” he pouted.  
Junmyeon eyes widened, now pointing his finger at him.  
“Y- You! You’re-“  
“-too much engrossed in Jongin dance that you’re drooling” said Luhan, covering Junmyeon mouth with his hand.  
Baekhyun quickly passed his hand on his mouth, trying to wipe the inexistent drool. Seeing he was fooled, he began whining at Luhan who just showed his tongue before excusing him and Junmyeon.  
“We’re going to buy drinks” he said.  
“Sure you will be able to carry all the drinks?” Baekhyun asked, already standing up.  
“You, you stay here, I still didn’t forgave you for your escapade this night. Keep looking at Jongin.” He dismissed Baekhyun. Before escaping. Baekhyun look dumbfounded at Luhan departure who always jumped on occasion to enslave people, then shrugged, hearing it’s his favourite part of Jongin dance, he resumed at shaking out his boyfriend.  
When they returned, he noticed how Junmyeon couldn’t stop from looking at him oddly, and Luhan being much more clingy than he was usually, but Baekhyun was in quite a good mood right now. His accomplishments from this morning putting him in cloud nine. So he didn’t act like the bitch he usually was with Luhan (the epiphany the last night about what Luhan and Chanyeol were doing for him was for something too).  
“I’m proud of you Baek” say Luhan “Your strong, stubbornly so”  
Baekhyun grabbed Luhan’s arm that was clinging at him and squeezed it. “I have the good people around for”  
Those were rare moment when Luhan was sentimental (he always used bad times, like now they were surrounded and Baekhyun couldn’t express all the thing he wanted to say at his friend, how grateful he was to have him around for example).  
“Hmm, what would you do without me huh?” Luhan asked.  
“I would still be wearing scarf in winter”  
“Punk”  
“Brat”  
“I'm your Hyung, this insult is irrelevant”  
And just like that, sentimental Luhan had left to the galaxy again for a journey undetermined._ _

__***_ _

__Later, only Jongin and Baekhyun remained in the room. Jongin wanting to dance one last time and Baekhyun not seeing any reason to complain about it, on the contrary. They were now lying down next to each other.  
“Piano suit better the song” said Jongin, and Baekhyun nodded. “Could you play me one? I miss seeing you playing”  
Baekhyun swallowed.  
“You can say no, Bee, I wouldn’t be upset”  
“No, I wanna try” Baekhyun answered and sat down before looking at his boyfriend. “Usual place?”  
Jongin nodded with a huge smile. They ended up in the same building as last time. Baekhyun said he agreed if he could see Jongin dancing ballet like when they met each other.  
Baekhyun looked at the piano for some time while Jongin was scratching next to him. He bit his lips, already feeling stressed. He led his hand in front of the key, and before he knew it, his fingers were already moving. They played a song Baekhyun remembered; it was the one for the first solo of Jongin. However, even if his fingers were moving, Baekhyun brain didn’t know what he was playing, which key, how the rhythm was supposed to be, he didn’t know it at all, but he was still playing it. Baekhyun fingers were moving, but his face was frowning, and soon enough he felt something wet dripping on his hand. He wanted to stop, but he couldn’t let himself doing it at the same time, because he knew, he knew that it will take some time for him to come back, to want to try again, if he wanted to. He didn’t even heard what he was playing, he began more and more frustrated until two hand stopped his own. He lifted his head questioningly, remembering then, that he wasn’t alone, that Jongin was in the same room, that he had seen everything and Baekhyun breaking down. He cried then, for his passion, the fact that he loved piano, he love singing also, but he can’t do it anymore, the frustrating feeling more present than the satisfaction of doing what he like. He couldn’t appreciate his passion like he could before, couldn’t create music like he did before with Chanyeol, because he wouldn’t remember. At least there was more chance than not to. As for the instrument, he loved to play it, but he felt dumb every time he was in front of a piano because he couldn’t remember what keys were what. And though he looked at the sheet, his fingers had already a few key of advance, knowing the piece by heart. People said that when the brain doesn’t remember, the body does, but they never said that it could be painful too. Baekhyun wouldn’t mind discovering again and again the instrument, But his fingers didn’t let him time to. He couldn’t bear to play something that he didn’t understood himself, that he didn’t command himself.  
“I’ll never be able to play like I used to Jongin” he said frustrate.  
“Calm down Baekhyun”  
“I can’t Jongin, what if, what if you’re next Jongin? What if-“  
“What are you talking about Baekhyun?”  
And then, Baekhyun remembered the promise he made to himself, the one about the fact that he would say everything to him, he hadn’t planned to do it like that, but this was something he had to do someday, though he wanted this to be much, much more later, wanting selfishly to have the more he could get. However, Baekhyun knew it was time, no one could keep someone forever._ _

__It was some years ago, Baekhyun couldn’t pinpoint how many, but everything crashed from here. He forgot the face of his big brother, of his wife and nephew. To be honest, he didn’t really knew if his brother had kids or not, but he knew he would one day, a memory with fresh air, the feel of the graze on his finger and his faceless brother talking about forming a huge family confirmed it.  
His parents face remained always the same, without the wrinkles. That’s why last time he saw them at Christmas, he internally was quite surprised to see they had aged, and even now, the wrinkles can’t be placed in his head, but he know they are present now.  
He didn’t resent his family, not really. He knew he was very close to his brother, and seeing your younger brother not even recognize you might be quite an awful experience.  
His parent too, they stayed at first, trying to regain his memories, but a part of his brain wouldn’t let him. Sometimes he would see them and not remembering having seen them the day before. He remembered seeing their smile deafening little by little though, and it created a pinch in his heart. From what he gathered, he was the one who always would smile, Baekbeom more on the reserved side. For him it was better to have them on phone from time to time; for now.  
He knew, from the day he left, he never saw his parents again until last Christmas, his father wouldn’t mind, but his mother, seeing his son broken in some sort, he knew she couldn’t support it. That’s why, she would call him, asking him how he was, and Baekhyun would always say the same: he wasn’t healed. It would lead his mother to find some excuse, too afraid of seeing his son, and Baekhyun understood it. He just snapped a little the last Christmas, seeing Jongin’s family. Baekhyun think it’s why his mother decided to come seeing him, sensing he was a little resentful. But she did tried to use his condition, saying she noticed him before coming, and it quite angered him. Maybe he had problem, but still he wasn’t an idiot, that’s why he came a little hard on her, he should just have said that he didn’t want to see her anymore, not making her bear the weight of thinking her son thought he was abused before.  
Nevertheless, he was still working on remembering, on healing this part of his brain, which could never be fixed. However, he was pride of having surpassed it: the brain tumour.  
He never told Luhan and Chanyeol, or at least he doesn’t remember, and the two never asked him question so he just make assumptions, but something in him told him that they knew anyway. Still they stayed, always had, and they always were there when he needed someone.  
When he freed his parent, he came at Chanyeol, crushed on his bed and created a ball of himself. Chanyeol spooned him and talk of everything and nothing. Mr. and Mrs. Park didn’t asked question too. His and Chanyeol’s parents were quite close. He supposed they told them. Luhan barged the next day and they played video game all the day. One week after, they rented an apartment for the three of them, they were entering college so it didn’t seemed suspicious. Baekhyun still came to his last house sometimes, until he remembered he didn’t lived here anymore. The new owners have two children and the mother, is a gardener. All those flowers before never surrounded his house, that's what helped him coming to his sense when he saw them.  
Piano and singing became obstacles, a torture for him. His fingers remembered where to go, but his brain didn’t know what he was doing. He could sing if he wanted too, but he has to not think of everything. Not being able to remember lyric, his teacher soon make him understand it wouldn’t be possible. Baekhyun stopped singing first. He still made some piano performance and helped his teacher for some sophomore, who had to dance, but he soon stopped, all reminded him of his situation. Karaoke was always out of questions; Baekhyun couldn’t do a lot of things actually. New people became stranger the next day, which didn’t help making new friends. Baekhyun was happy for living, and live each day like it was the last and the first. He listened the same songs every morning but from time to time, it’s was if he never heard one of the song. He wanted to experience things too, like love. Love was always in his dream, he knew this much. He tried the experience with Tao, but the two of them were more friends than anything else. To be honest they never kissed… At least he thinks. For him, loving someone is not possible, he will forget that person one day. He didn’t know how Luhan and Chanyeol remained in his memories, but he knew that all the memory he was creating right now could dissipate from one day to another. Never being permanent.  
Even though, he knew he was lucky of having what he had, and he knew his family loved him, it just was better like that.  
Baekhyun still lived with fear, tumour always have a possibility to come back. He cried silently when people wished him his birthday when he himself couldn’t remember it. He also cried when he forgot those of Chanyeol and Luhan. When they spoke about something they had done together but he couldn’t remember at all. He pretended then.  
One times, Luhan came to him, was it in high school? He placed his hand on Baekhyun's shoulder, complaining about a girl who wouldn’t let him alone, and Baekhyun really freaked out, because he really didn’t remembered him. However, he knew his condition and assumed he was close with the guy. It wasn’t until Chanyeol came calling Luhan’s name, that he remembered. Baekhyun life since he woke up some day has always been a lot of pretending and he was tired of it.  
Baekhyun won over a brain tumour, however, the brain tumour didn’t died alone. She took one part of his hippocampus with it, a part of the brain that is important for the memory. Baekhyun can’t remember what he wanted to, his hippocampus can’t take everything in permanent memory so it just take things in hazard: sometime it’s relevant, sometimes not. The tumour also took part of his permanent memories like his brother face and other things he couldn’t point because he couldn’t remember it. Baekhyun won, but he didn’t felt like it, he lost too much in exchange.  
That’s what he explained to Jongin, he was the first person he confessed to. Jongin listened to him, while he cried and explained at the same time.  
What he didn’t say though, was that even if post-it became his best companion, today, he had a better thing than it: Jongin. He didn’t know how the man did it, but when he see his face, all moment he had with Jongin come back to him. He revive them each day, hearing the surname that Jongin gave to him with Jongin voice that seems to trigger something in him. He doesn’t know what it is, but he is grateful of it. He just fear that one day, this won’t work. He doesn’t want to forget. _ _

__***_ _

__While Baekhyun is finally asleep, exhausted from crying and apologizing to Jongin, Jongin is thinking. What Baekhyun told him is overwhelming, and though he had a pretty much great idea about it, guessing something and being it confirmed is different, _very different_. Jongin want to run away, let Baekhyun head fell on the ground, and running without turning his head back.  
Then again, he remembers why he stayed even after noticing every hint of it.  
When he was younger, little Jongin was an outcast because of his tan skin. He doesn’t know how either, but he soon was named Kai ( a translation about all kid saying ‘okay’ every time he tried to speak, ending his sentence, and a way to say it more easily, the surname Kai came to life)  
Little Jongin decided to bury his sadness in something physical like dance, and he was good at it. However, he soon found two bullies: Sehun and Taemin. They wouldn’t let him alone at practice and call him Nini instead of Kai like others. Little Jongin at this time didn’t understand that they were trying to befriend him.  
He ignored them for a long time, but soon had an obligation to speak to them when they had to dance as a trio. They were said the best of the class, so the teacher always paired them together. Anyway, little Jongin poured all his motivation on this sport that soon became a passion. However, when he finally was gave a solo for their spectacle, that he wasn’t succeeding at one or two step (even if he tried an hundred times) and that to end all of it, the stereo was broken due to being used too much from him (Sehun and Taemin too, but he had tendencies at ignoring them). Little Jongin thought it was a sign to tell him that dance wasn’t for him. Then, Baekhyun came, Baekhyun Hyung (he insisted at this time) armed with his little and beautiful fingers that were doing miracles on this instrument that little Jongin never paid attention before. He played the song, and little Jongin could feel what the meaning of the song was, Baekhyun Hyung gave so many feelings on his song. He would stay late just for letting little Jongin practice all he wanted and acted like he was a stereo himself, compelling with all specific demand Jongin gave him. He gave him advice for his difficult step (even if, now Jongin know that Baekhyun can’t dance ballet to save his life). Jongin succeeded on his step and while he wanted to say how grateful he was to Baekhyun Hyung, Baekhyun Hyung only shook his head, saying him to thanks the person who actually helped (Sehun and Taemin).  
Baekhyun Hyung gave to little Jongin, hope, will to succeed and also friends, two awesome friends who are still by his side today. After his solo was perfectly performed at the spectacle and that the stereo was replaced, Baekhyun Hyung still came, he still played whatever the three devils (he liked to call them like that) wanted, he gave them advice on what he was good too (like pranks usually) and encouraged them along the aspiration they had. Baekhyun Hyung only was twelve years old and he already had a very huge heart. Then, the three devils added other dance practice from other genre, but they still came each Friday evening to the practice room (with the code that the teacher gave them to practice more) to meet Baekhyun Hyung, and while Baekhyun Hyung amused himself with a new song, they amused themselves with creating choreography from it.  
Little Jongin was ten years old, and was naïve, not doted enough intelligence to see the signs. Baekhyun stopping in the middle of his song, Baekhyun making a mistake on it (thing that he never did), it was a once in a time at the beginning, but then it became frequent, with Baekhyun Hyung having a permanent frown on his face, sometimes biting his lips, having finger shivering or just him sitting in the middle of the room, saying he was tired with a smile on his face but eyebrow that couldn’t stop themselves from frowning and hand holding his head. Then one day, when little Jongin was twelve, Baekhyun Hyung didn’t came to their usual Friday evening, not the Friday after too. And their teacher explained them that he came study overboard, letting them a letter, one for Sehun, one for Taemin and one for him.  
He basically apologized for leaving without a proper good bye and told them to live their dream at the fullest, live it as if tomorrow had no meaning, and telling them how proud he was to have seen them grown up like that and staying friends. However, he never made a promise to see them when he’ll came back, surely because he wasn’t sure of that, and he didn’t want to break a promise (that’s what little Jongin like to think). Baekhyun was fourteen at this time, but his words were from someone more mature than that for little Jongin, and he never stopped to admire what a great person Baekhyun was.  
He heard about him again when he was in high school (still with his two friends). His cousin Kim Minseok, talked about a cutie that turned off Kris The Magnifique, refusing his confession. His name was Byun Baekhyun, and he was a sophomore at one of Seoul college. Apparently because of that he became worshipped, being the person who wasn’t attainable because no one refuse Kris The Magnifique. Jongin decided to change the college he wanted to go to.  
He crossed way with Baekhyun, more than one time when he finally was a sophomore himself. If Baekhyun wasn’t with one of his two usual friends (another one adding himself after going out with one of Baekhyun friend) Baekhyun will look at his feet or right in front of him, as if not wanting people to talk to him. Still, when he made Jongin bag (he didn’t placed himself in front of Baekhyun on purpose okay?) fell on the ground, he apologized, helped him gathering his things, but didn’t made any eyes contact. Baekhyun was inapproachable, and Jongin was desperate to be able to talk to him again. He observed Baekhyun from afar, and stopped himself more than once to coo at him. But he noticed one thing wrong. Baekhyun wasn’t playing piano anymore, he never saw him on the music building, Baekhyun wasn’t taking music course at all, not even one thing close, and this disturbed Jongin, because Baekhyun was made for that, breathed for music and now, Baekhyun smile never reached his eyes, he didn’t spoke a lot too. When someone addressed him, even his friends, Baekhyun would look at them like it was the first time seeing them, or answer after seconds, as if he was trying to remember what they were talking about. Jongin found himself looking forward to come to school everyday and looking for a certain little brunet. Without realising it, he soon fell for the charm the brunet had that he didn’t realize when he was younger.  
Still, Jongin didn’t succeeded on his goal: speaking to Baekhyun. Each day he would learn to speak to the brunet, asking him what happened before, how he was doing, and if he was still playing, why he wasn’t always speaking, always smiling and imposing his presence to others. He wanted to be noticed by him, and even with his popularity, this didn’t work.  
Then, at one party Sehun encrusted him to, Baekhyun appeared in front of him, asking him to making out with him, just like that. Jongin wanted to pinch himself, not believing what was happening and answered before he could stop himself. Not wanting to creep out Baekhyun, he played along, calling him Baekbee since he didn’t introduced himself. Jongin had quite some fun this night, with Baekhyun antic.  
Finally having an opportunity, Jongin wasn’t going to let it go and came to speak to him the next day. It was exciting to finally being able to speak to him, and though Baekhyun didn’t seem to recognize him, Jongin made it on the alcohol. Baekhyun wasn’t the most sober at the party (he did dance the Macarena after all). When he tried to remind him about the surname (awful one to be honest) they gave to themselves at the party and that Baekhyun didn’t show any sign of having this conversation before, Jongin made it in the alcohol again. However, when they had the exactly same conversation the next day, Jongin began to ask himself some questions. He concluded that Baekhyun became quite a forgetting person or maybe was just stressed with all his exams and didn’t have time to remember other things.  
Baekhyun did stand him up more than one time, though he never seemed sorry for it the next day, as if he had no idea about what he had done. Jongin decided to gave him coupons to make him remember. He then understood why Baekhyun always had post it on him.  
When Luhan complained one then more time at lunch at Baekhyun about coming home late, Jongin decided to take him home. Having Baekhyun hugging him behind on his motorbike was like heaven, and Jongin couldn’t stop to thanks Luhan again and again in his head.  
Baekhyun became more talkative as the day passed, he saw less and less Baekhyun taking out post it (though his room was covered of it, he realized there was more and more post it about him, and the thought himself made him smile). Still, Baekhyun forgetfulness made him worry more than one time, and he would always hug him tighter, afraid of losing Baekhyun again.  
To be honest, maybe Jongin was a goner since he was ten years old, but he wasn’t old enough to comprehend the feeling he had. He thought it was admiration, but it wasn’t, he liked, still like Baekhyun, maybe even more.  
Though Baekhyun was talkative, he didn’t spoke about his family like he did before, the only things he talked about were majorly his friends, his class and the weather, but never in a chronologic time. It seemed like he didn’t dare ask question about Jongin, and more than one time, after Jongin asked him a question, he would see Baekhyun shoulders tense and decide to change subject. It seemed like Baekhyun from today was more fragile than his younger self, but he was still Baekhyun, and Jongin heart still fluttered when he was there.  
Before going to his parent for Christmas, he had the right of having _the talk_ with Baekhyun friends. His friends didn’t seemed to know what they were going to tell him, but they still warned him about his parent absence since some years, how the family subject was a little touchy for Baekhyun and that if Baekhyun seemed lost, to not panic and explain everything to him lowly. And a lot about “if you hurt him” crap. They didn’t need to say it twice, for one because Jongin would never thought about doing that, and secondly, Luhan and his scarring scarf was enough of a threat (Chanyeol and his puppy-like face wasn’t to be honest, even a bug wouldn't shiver in front of him).  
And lost Baekhyun looked the three first morning, that’s how Jongin found out ironically that the surname Baekhyun seemed to despise seem to act like a trigger to him. Since then, Jongin used it more than one time.  
When Baekhyun asked him to stay the second week with him, Jongin could only agree happily.  
Seeing Baekhyun parents was quite a shock for him though. His mother was only the shadow of how she used to be. Eyes bag under her eyes, wrinkles everywhere for her age, she didn’t look like the fierce woman she was before, she mostly looked like a tired, drown of life woman. How Baekhyun spoke to her shocked him too, because he saw them when he was younger, and never her mother would dare place a finger on her son. He didn’t understood what Baekhyun tried to do, but he saw the pride face on Baekhyun father when he left the room. The scene was quite heart-breaking and he really didn’t understood anything, because Baekhyun was passing himself for a crazy man, was hurting his mother, but he saw the relief on Baekhyun father’s eyes, and a glint too on his mother too (between tears). This quite confused him. When he was out of his confusion, he came to join Baekhyun in his room.  
The next day, when Jongin finally revealed Baekhyun that he knew him since a long time, he wouldn’t lie that he was a little upset that Baekhyun didn’t recognize him by his name before. Then again, he wasn’t when he realized that Baekhyun never knew his real name at this time. How funny, they saw each other each week for a little more than two years, but he never said his real name to Baekhyun. The look on Baekhyun face when he said he didn’t played anymore made Jongin’s heart ache.  
He then met Jongin troupe, and Baekhyun began to ask more and more question about Jongin. He realised that Baekhyun would look at him more and more too, and Jongin heart was always about to combust. Everyone in his troupe, like his parent, began fond of him quite fast, even if Baekhyun had really a hard time remembering their name, the drink he brought them was making up for it, it seemed.  
When he heard Baekhyun’s play after the stereo broke this morning, Jongin was jumping excitedly in his head, because Baekhyun _played_. There was still hope (not counting what words Baekhyun told him the last night, Jongin didn’t had an ounce of sleep). Still, his mood dropped a little when he saw Luhan having a breakdown in the toilet this day. He never saw the fierce man like that, and it seemed that his eyes wouldn’t stop from crying. The way he looked at him though, with desperation, pity and hope all at the same time quite confused Jongin. He noticed Junmyeon strange gaze directed to Baekhyun too. And when he questioned Junmyeon about it, Junmyeon came out of his trance, and gave Jongin the same look Luhan gave to him before.  
“Nothing, Baekhyun is really a tough nut uh?” he answered. “I would never guess at first glance”  
Jongin had frowned, and Junmyeon just dismissed him.  
Jongin now wondered if Junmyeon knew, and how did he? Jongin fingers were still caressing Baekhyun face that was on his laps now. Remembering all of that, remembering every smile Baekhyun directed to him, Jongin decided that he wouldn’t give up right now. Not after all of this. Even if he didn’t want to be forgotten by Baekhyun, he would try to make him remember every time even when it wouldn’t work, he will stay by his side. Until he couldn’t do it, until his heart couldn’t take it anymore. He just hopes that his heart can take a lot. _ _

__

__***  
When he woke up, Baekhyun almost expect being alone on the ground. However, his head was on Jongin's lap, and Jongin was sleeping silently on the ground. Baekhyun smiled, his heart making a subsalt in his chest. He stood up smoothly, being careful of not waking Jongin up. It was dark outside, and Baekhyun took a long look at the room. Twenty-four hours ago, he was there too, though he didn’t took time to look at his surrounding. His eyes stopped on the piano. Without having the time to think about it, he was sitting on the bench. His fingers were ready to press on a key. He closed his hand, forming two fists. And through the light the moon was giving him, Baekhyun looked at the black and white keys. The piano was tempting him and his finger were aching to being pressed against a key, but Baekhyun refrained them from doing it with success. Jongin was sleeping after all. He analysed the keys, recited some of the note in his head, and for the first time since forever, he had time to appreciate the instrument without a feeling of frustration. He stopped here, and retracted his hand before going to look at Jongin face. His determination was coming back;’ take one-step after one step’ he told himself. When Jongin woke up, he smiled at him, and even if they didn’t speak a lot on the way back, Jongin didn’t stop holding his hand, and Baekhyun kind of understood the meaning of it. _ _

__***  
After those revelations, Jongin encouraged him to do the same with Chanyeol and Luhan. That’s how he found himself some evening, Jongin by his side, telling his friends about his battle. A lot of tears were shed this night. But Baekhyun could tell that’s his bond with them grew even more.  
Since this day, they helped him. Doing memory exercises, Baekhyun spend a lot of time in Chanyeol’s studio too, and he heard Luhan singing again. They helped him practicing his instrument, and Jongin troupe asked him for songs some months after. He was now producing some with the cooperation of Chanyeol and Yixing. They were actually working on one for Jongin solo, on the school spectacle at the end of the year. Jongin asked for only piano, and Baekhyun was trying to control his fingers, to be able to play with him on stage.  
His father had called him too, telling him that his mother was all right. His mother actually called him in the middle of April and Baekhyun was sure this had something to do with Jongin. Jongin took his parent number on his phone when he thought Baekhyun was sleeping, and he knew that Jongin was sending them his improvement.  
Because _yes_ , Baekhyun feels some improvement now. Music could really be a healing (as much as Jongin) because, Baekhyun remembered more and more about his last day, he had clear memories since January and could recount a lot of things he had done.  
His parent had sent him in May a piano that is now standing in all his glory in Chanyeol, Luhan and his apartment living room. They loved to play the evening.  
Luhan succeeded somewhere between March and April in seducing Sehun, and they had now quite a serious relationship too.  
However Baekhyun had his up and down, nothing could stay pink forever. His first episode since a long time was before the spectacle of the end of the year.  
_Waking up, he looks around his surrounding, not having a clue of where he is. He panics, trying to gather what he knows. That’s when he realizes, he knows nothing. Only one face come to his mind, a tan guy, with a smirk. Getting out of the toilet, he sees that this isn’t his own face that he remembers. Then someone cross the door, look at him with the same gaze he has: panic. Though he could bet this wasn’t the same guy.  
“Baekhyun” shouts the guy (a really tall one with strange ears). The guy rings a bell in his head, or more specifically his heart, but he can’t pinpoint who he is. So his name is Baekhyun, then.  
“What are you doing! Jongin is waiting for you!” Jongin? He feels his heartbeat quickening.  
“Come on” say the guy, grabbing his hand and leading him somewhere. He soon find himself on a sit, in front of a piano. He’s kind of lost. The room, except from where he is, is dark, he can distingue movement though. He must be on a scene, for a freaking spectacle that he doesn’t have a clue of what his role is. Murmurs began to echoes in the room, while he stays still in front of his seat, looking at the piano. He then sees a man, with the face he can remember, coming to him, dancing to join him. Actually this isn’t dance, this is art, and the man mesmerizes Baekhyun. His smirk is on, though he sees a glint on his eyes, if he could name an emotion, it would be sadness. The guy makes movement, move his arm beside Baekhyun and, with a swift move, whisper to him.  
“Wake up, Honey sweet cookie bee” Baekhyun doesn’t hear the scream in the room, not even the giggling, he enter in a trance, repeating the last four word of the man, of Jongin. He winks at Jongin then, erasing the sadness in Jongin's eyes, and let his finger do there magic. _  
Baekhyun know it won’t be the last one, and he hopes that at last, it won’t scare Jongin, and making him run away. They are pretty young after all, and he knows that maybe Jongin wouldn’t want to be trap with him his entire life. Baekhyun always has this doubt, but, for now, he’ll live with what he have, embracing it. No one knows what tomorrow will bring us after all._ _

__***  
***_ _

__He’s enjoying himself, switching his hips from right to left along the music, when he feels two hands gently grabbing his waist  
“Hey there honey sweet cookie bee, wanna make out with me?” the man asked.  
Baekhyun turned around himself, facing the not-so-stranger/boyfriend before responding  
“Okay” and leaning in._ _

__

__(The kiss is postponed when a very drunk Chanyeol trip on them; along with his own boyfriend who seems to be the mastermind of the mischief.)_ _

__(Luhan is laughing his ass off with something weirdly pink on his shoulders. Sehun seems to be quite mesmerize by the awful ‘clothing’)_ _

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! please be sure to leave a comment here or on the livejournal mirror!


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